On the Subject of KoolAid
by Elphaba-Rose
Summary: In which Michelangelo deviously outwits his Fearless Leader.


A.N: A super quick drabble I cooked up after trying kool-aid for the first time. It's sloppy but fun! Thanks for reading.

Disclaimer: I do not own the TMNT and no profit has been made.

In Which Michelangelo Deviously Outwits His Fearless Leader

Leo has overstepped the line this time. I swear to god it isn't even funny. I know he's got my best interests at heart and shiz but still, he's gone too far. How can ruining my life class as my best interests? Okay that is a slight exaggeration, I admit that, but it's still taking the piss. I don't see him pulling the same jazz with Raph and Don.

I tried _everything_. The whiny voice. The bribery. Even the damn puppy dog eyes. And not even a flicker! Nothing! Normally that gets him without a doubt. But not this time. He just stares me down and stands his ground. So I stomp up to my room and slam my door. Haven't left for three hours. He'll soon see the error of his ways. There's no way I'm giving in.

We all have our little pleasures. Simple things that help us get through the shit that happens to us on a regular basis. Raph has his motorbike and his beer. Don has his computer and his lab. Heck, even Leo enjoys reading classic literature in his spare time. And I have my comics and my junk food. He can't just take them away from me like that. It's inhuman! Seriously, what am I going to do without them?

Well, I still have my comics. He hasn't banned those. I think he knows I'd really kill him then. Besides, he'd be a hypocrite. If he took my comics he'd have to take away his own Japanese manga. Heh he gets all defensive when I mention those. They're no different big brother, no matter what you tell yourself. But to take away my junk food!

He threw it all out! I'm shuddering again just thinking about it. Oh my poor chips, my poor candy, tossed in the trash like mouldy pizza. It's a tragedy. He even poured the soda down the drain! I swear, there is nothing left! It's all salad and rice and fruit and vegetables. I mean, don't get me wrong, I adore _all _food, even the healthy shit! But the bad stuff holds a special place in my heart you know?

It's not like I'm fat or anything. Sure, I carry a few extra pounds than the others but that's only because Don always forgets to eat, Leo only eats rice and fish and trains most of the day and Raph's is mostly muscle. I'm the only normal one around here I swear. If everyone incorporated a little sugar and fat into their day then nobody would be so uptight.

I just don't get it. It isn't fair. I'm not even allowed kool-aid. I have to drink juice. Juice is only good at breakfast time. You can't drink juice whilst watching a movie! It's against the law or something! Leo doesn't know these rules. He's so uneducated. He thinks it's perfectly okay to munch on carrot sticks during a movie. Honestly. I'd be appalled if it wasn't so funny.

I'm not gonna do it. He can't make me. They're always telling me that my greatest strength is my ability to cheer everybody up. Well it's the sugar that keeps me happy! How can I make everybody laugh when I'm not on a sugar high? I'd be as depressed as everyone else. His plan is so flawed. He so didn't think this one through.

All the stuff he threw out couldn't have been that bad, surely. And it's not like I sit on my ass all day. I train, I skateboard. That stops me from getting fat! Ugh he is such a douchebag. I know that there are worse things but it's just...I honestly can't see what damage a bit of junk food can do. He's taken it too far.

I ignored the shout for dinner. They must have known something was wrong if they had to make their own meals. That never happens. Makes me laugh just thinking about it. Ha. If I have to go without junk food then you can live off instant noodles. Justice, bitch. Not my fault Leo has the cooking skills of a teaspoon. Raph and Don aren't bad if they really try hard but Don's always too busy and Raph is never patient enough.

I don't mind. I enjoy cooking, always have done, ever since I was a kid. I just love food, you know? In all its forms. Providing Leo hasn't made it. They should distribute his cooking as a weapon of mass destruction. The worst thing is I'm not even exaggerating. We should totally take a batch of his fairy cakes next time we go to raid the Foot tower. Would save us so much trouble.

By nightfall, I had my plan. By midnight, everyone was fast asleep. I crept from my room with enough finesse to make even Master Yoshi proud. I'm sorry if it's disrespectful but his name always makes me giggle. It just makes me think of Super Mario and his little dinosaur pal. I know it's wrong but...I'm snickering even now. Ah, I'm going to hell aren't I?

It only took twenty minutes get to the all night Wal-mart. Only another ten to shove as much as I could into the basket and pay for it. Then another fifteen to get home because I ran. Maybe I'm overreacting, I dunno. I'm sorry big brother, but we'll just have to agree to disagree. I can't live without it. It's just something you're gonna have to live with.

I dumped all the stuff as silently as I could onto the counter. I didn't get much; I'm gonna have to find a way to stash all this. Let Leo think he's won. Then we'll both be happy. It's a win/win situation! I instantly went for the kool-aid. I was gagging for the sugary goodness. I'll let him catch me eventually, just to show him that he just can't take this away from me.

I snickered deviously and stirred the kool-aid absent-mindedly. I shouldn't betray him like this but I can't help it. He should know not to mess with me. I casually glanced down at the empty sachet on the surface, reading it lazily. Then I froze, feeling a wide sneaky grin emerging across my face. I just read the most amazing words in my life.

Tomorrow morning, big brother ain't gonna know what's hit him.

I made a huge point of pretending that everything was normal the next day. I got up when he asked me to, trained without a word of complaint. He went around looking very pleased with himself, thinking he'd won our little spat already. After I'd showered, I went about preparing breakfast as usual. And then, instead of pouring myself a nice tall glass of orange juice I filled it with the kool-aid.

Seeing him come in for breakfast and watching his face slowly morph from unsuspecting contentment to suspicious arrogance. I peered up at him, blinking innocently, cradling the bright red liquid.

"Michelangelo, what is that?" He asked quietly, narrowing his golden eyes dangerously.

"Kool-aid," I chirruped happily.

"You know that kool-aid is banned Mikey," He argued, voice sinisterly calm.

"Actually, Leo, you said that anything containing a high percentage of fat or sugar is banned," I corrected him, my own voice sickeningly sweet. He outright scowled at having his own rules parroted back at him.

"And kool-aid falls under that category," He snapped, finally growing frustrated with my childishness.

"Not if you make it with Splenda!" I sang, waving the offending drink at him.

"I beg your pardon?"

If I wasn't so smug I'd totally be freaking out at how furious he is right now. But I can't help radiating arrogance because I knew I was right. Without a word, I took the empty sachet from the table and offered it to him. He snatched it and read at the speed of light. His splutters of angry surprise had me in fits of laughter.

"If you make kool-aid with Splenda it's sugar free, big bro!" I chuckled infuriatingly.

And then he simply stomped around for the rest of the day grumbling to himself. And I just laughed and laughed and laughed. I believe I got ya there Fearless Leader! Try as you might, you just can't beat the Mikester!

The End!


End file.
